I had hip surgery and didn’t tell you.

Yeah. That about sums it up. But as an apology I’ll tell you how it came to be and what they did because you guys have been along for the whole crazy ride.

Last September I went to meet a doctor who specializes in doing arthroscopic hip surgery to see if I was a candidate for a surgery to fix a problem with my hip. WAIT! You guys probably never even heard about how I discovered the problem in my hip! Rewind! Last June I went to my doctor to get a referral for a acupuncturist because we had given up on finding out what was wrong. It turns out my doctor doesn’t believe in alternative medicine. So she sent me to a Mormon physical therapist office (I only mention the Mormon part because it is weird that most of the people who work there are Mormon). I spent the entirety of last summer doing physical therapy and my therapist told me and the doctor that he thought I had a tear in my labrum (the cartilage inside your hip socket). So my doctor referred me to the specialist in Seattle. Oh and I had some crazy tests done at Memorial to see if I had the tear, which I did.

Fun facts: When your labrum tears it affects you joints, your nerves, and your muscles. There’s a lot of technical stuff about why, but mostly it is important to note that it can effect a lot of things.

So in September we saw the specialist who told us that he didn’t want to do the surgery because he didn’t know what percentage of my pain was caused by the tear. I was really upset, but my mother was not deterred. She asked if there was a way to tell and he hesitantly agreed to numb the inside of my hip joint so I could see how much pain came from that area. Only we had to do it that day because I was leaving for school in a week. So we did the test and it was wonderful. Six hours with no pain. I ran and played and did yoga and we had so much fun because this whole situation has really sucked for my family.

We mailed in the test results and I left for school. A month later they called to tell me to have the surgery but that they couldn’t so it until February. And I said no. Because my parents don’t have a lot of money and I knew they wouldn’t be able to afford my surgery. But my sister told me that the super expensive tests they did to see if I could have the surgery had put me over the deductible and if I did the surgery before January 1st the insurance would pay for it. She called every doctor in Washington who does the surgery to see who could do it. (There aren’t very many people who do the surgery, and I honestly don’t know how many of them she called) But she found one who had an open date before the end of the year December 22, the day before he left for Christmas vacation. The only catch was that the doctor won’t do the surgery without meeting you first and seeing if you are a good candidate. All of this happened right before Thanksgiving break (for which I did not come home). So my parents bought a plane ticket and I flew home for one Friday to meet the doctor who would potentially fix me.

He was super weird. But as soon as he saw my films he knew what the problem was. He showed us on the X-ray that my hip bone was shaped the wrong way. The bone inside the joint had a ridge on it and every step I took was cutting through my cartilage and into the bone. IT hurts just to think of. And is kind of gross.

On December 22 I went to Seattle and had surgery. They did an arthroscopic surgery in which they drilled through all the muscle and bone to get to the joint, reshaped the inside of the joint, cut out the ruined cartilage and fixed up what was there so it would heal. Then they sent me home while I was so drugged up that I couldn’t feel the pain. But not before I told all the nurses how gorgeous they were and tried to touch their hair.

The couple days before Christmas were a bit like Hell. Once the numbing wore off and I could feel all the muscle they had drilled through, I went into shock. Repeatedly. And the anti-nausea medication made me really sick. It was not the best holiday for my parents. But it got better and on Christmas I let my room to sit with the family. I even went to an hour of church.

I’m doing better now. I can’t step sideways or sit cross-legged for awhile and it hurts sometimes. But it is so much better than it was before the surgery.

Success!

-Mulan

Broken Record

I feel like Cinderella is going to pee her pants with joy that I am finally posting instead of telling her over the phone that I don’t want to tell you guys anything until it’s serious. And it’s not. Not really. And I’m me, so what the crap would I do with serious? I’d probably kick serious in the balls and throw it down a flight of stairs for looking at me wrong. Okay. Maybe not. But me and serious? we have a rocky past.

I’m not making any sense. So there’s a boy. A boy you know about. A boy that many months ago we all decided was never worth a second look. Or a third look. But curiosity killed the cat and I always look back.

Math Class. Remember the Hell guy? The guy you guys told me to give up on because he was obviously a toad. And when I think about it I’m trying really hard to see it that way. But when I looked back I remembered that he was the best friend I made in college and the guy who liked me for me. He was the guy I could be totally honest with and never had to worry about because he was honest too. He was the guy who made me feel comfortable with myself. And you guys know I’m not comfortable with myself.

And when I looked back at the hell thing, he was just being honest. He believes that if you don’t want to get married you are going to hell. That’s what he believes. I was the one who freaked out.

So why does it matter? Because I decided to be the bigger person and I spoke first. I apologized and I mended the bridge. I think they call that being the bigger man.

So we became friends again in the middle of last semester. But we were busy, so we only talked online even though we were in the same city.

Then two days before the end of the semester he calls and asks if I want to get ice cream. Still trying to be the bigger person, I said yes even though it was 9 and I was already in my pajamas (I’m a bit of a nerd). I hurriedly put on clothes and he came over and we hugged and… and… everything was the same. We were best friends again. We talked and we laughed and we ate ice cream.  And it was nice. But when we were finished, neither of us wanted it to end. So we went to the park and we sat on a bench and talked and cuddled and laughed and held hands. It was nice. Then the next day he called again and we knew it was our last day together. We went straight to the nature park to feed the ducks (night feeding is our tradition). Then we walked and we talked and we held hands and we cuddled. For hours and hours until we had to go home. And we talked about the future, because suddenly it seemed important. And we held each other and it was perfect. We stood on my porch and just held each other until we were both crying. We cried because I made the decision not to go back to school after my surgery. And he made the decision to move to Alaska. It was the end.

Two perfect days.

That was all it was supposed to be. But we kept talking because we are friends. And a month ago he asked me to move to Alaska with him. I said no. Because I have plans. And I can’t make a crazy decision based on two days. Then last week he messages me and asks me if he can come and visit me. Because he wants to kiss me. He feels like he missed his chance with me because of bad timing. And who know what the future holds?

You know me. You know I dump perfectly reasonable men because they are perfectly perfect. But he has seen me at my worst. And he thinks I’m beautiful. And he knows about all the crazy stuff in my life and about all the stupid things I’ve done. And he still wants me. I like feeling wanted. He makes me feel crazy and light and bubbly. Mostly he makes me feel comfortable. Not passionate, not lustful, not earth-shattering. But what’s wrong with comfortable?

Nothing, except the part of me that wonders if somewhere out there is the prince who is passionate and earth-shattering who also happens to be comfortable.

And I’m not moving to Alaska. And I doubt I’ll end up letting him visit because I bet I’ll chicken out. But right now he’s my big WHAT IF. Because for two perfect days I could imagine a life where I wasn’t sitting with Remus in a small apartment watching sitcoms and wishing.

I’m not saying I’m in love with this guy. I’m just saying that he makes me wonder. And I thought you guys should know.

-Mulan

Picturesque

My Spring Break is coming up and originally the plan was to go up to this place with a group of friends and enjoy the holiday. However that plan didn’t work out and instead Limey and I are going, just the two us, to a town that can only be described as something out of a Jane Austen novel.  Which yes is cute and romantic but I’m not sure how well 5 days and 4 nights is going to go. I’m excited and nervous, terrified and elated. It’s something I’ve never done before and it feels very coupley, but besides that it seems very grown up? Yes I think that’s the right way to describe it. Like something you hear couples doing once they’ve been together for plus 6 months and both have stable jobs. Or maybe I just never expected this to happen now. Maybe a few years down the line or at least a few more months later but I didn’t think it’d happen now. Or maybe it feels strange because it’s conformation that this is no high school relationship.

I was once told by an aging doctor, uni years are the best years of your life. Not only do you make some of your closest friends but for many it’s when you find the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with. I’m not saying that this is it. I haven’t been with him long enough to know that or want to settle down. I’m still not ready for that but what I realize is that this is long term; a year, two years, maybe more. I know he’ll probably be the first guy I decide to show my hometown to and I’m oddly excited for that. I’ve fallen for him and I can’t say I mind too much.

~Jasmine

Interesting

I was talking to my Princess Charming and she told me that if I were a Disney character, she thinks I would be Belle… I just thought this was funny considering the existence of this blog and was wondering what you all thought of her observation. I can certainly see the parallels that exist, but I can also see parallels with Cinderella. Perhaps I need to watch the movies again. I think it’s all mood dependent… What is the princesses opinions?

-Cinderella

Romance novel?

I’ve been debating whether or not to post this but I think it merits a story.

I have this skirt. Not just any skirt, it’s a skirt I’ve had since I was about 13. It’s that school girl skirt I think I wore a total of once in high school and I wore it last year for Halloween as a “naughty school girl.” It’s very short on me now as I’ve grown a bit since I was 13. Anyways I wore it a few nights ago and well Limey was more than appreciative of said skirt. He liked it so much he managed to rip it in his enthusiasm. I mean fair enough he’s a muscular guy but really? Actually rip a piece of clothing?!  It’s something I never actually thought would happen. It just seemed too ridiculous, like something out of a Cosmo article, or romance novel, or even fanfiction; just not real life. I’m in such awe over it that I don’t even think I want to mend my skirt. I kind of want to keep it like it is. He was very apologetic later. Although I think he was almost proud but still said he was sorry… With a smirk on his face. I’ll definitely be laughing about it for awhile and going to tease him about it whenever I get the chance. Anyways I hope you girls had a laugh.

~Jasmine

Follow-up

I figured it out! I figured out why he’s been bugging me so much as of late. He’s been sick and I realized he is absolutely oblivious to how aliments and medications work. He’s paranoid and asks questions that from my point of view are ridiculous. I shouldn’t be so surprised and should have more patience. But it does bother me; they’re things I think are common sense but don’t seem so much to him. Last night he had a migraine, he’s been having one since Wednesday, told me last night any sort of light seemed very bright to him. I asked him why he didn’t tell me sooner, said he just thought he was dehydrated. Except he’d been drinking water all day. He wasn’t puking or anything of the sort, no fever, nothing, so clearly he wasn’t losing water and still chalked it up to dehydration. Earlier that day he’d taken ibuprofen for his headache and two  minutes later says oh ya I’m feeling great lets go out… … Medicine unless injected isn’t exactly instantaneous. I know for a fact things like Advil take about half an hour to kick in. It’s not his area of expertise nor can I say it’s mine, but really some of the things he asks are pretty elementary. So it grates on me.  And he’s pigeon toed! Not that that really has an impact on anything, it’s just a pet peeve from dance. Turn out, turn out, turn out! Not in, out! Like I said I need to be more patient and not let little things get to me.

~Jasmine

Restless

It’s not like there’s anything wrong per say. It’s not like he’s done anything wrong, yet I find myself getting distant and unwilling to be around him. Limey is great, he really is and I should be thrilled to be spending the week with him as I haven’t seen him for weeks and yet I’m annoyed.

He got back yesterday and I got in on Sunday after being on Holiday. We’re staying at a friends flat, just the two of us, with the whole place to ourselves for the next few days. I should be thrilled. No interruptions to worry about or course work, just time for the two of us to hang out. But I’m getting annoyed. Little things that don’t usually annoy me, are now. I’m being short and critical and I know he doesn’t deserve that. He’s done nothing but be wonderful. Maybe it’s the fact that we are sort of living together for the next few days and it’s a bit too domestic for comfort. I do really care for him and am very happy with him, but for some reason right now I feel like running. Any advice?

~Jasmine

Whant him to want me back?

so with it being over a month since computer broke up with me you would think i would stop missing him. Ever nigh i with he was there to snuggle and say the cute stuff he used to. I am finding being over him harder and herder, as time goes by i miss him more and more. I cant help but think if he misses me to?  I don’t know. One part of me hopes he does and is ready for this to be a real relationship.  The other part (and maybe more realistic?) has concluded that he dosent think i am right for him. But I still have feeling for him and they are not going away. And yes if i saw him tomorrow and he asked me out again I would  go. I that good or bad. And is there any math magic that could happen to make him want me as much as i still want him?

 

Snow White

Butterflies

I don’t know what to say, or what to do…

I’ve talked to most of you about my problems with my Princess Charming. How she seems to have just lost her charm so to speak. If I haven’t talked to you, then you should know that my relationship has consistently spiraled in the southward direction for about three months. This appears to continue no matter how hard I try to communicate to her that its not working, or that I’m unhappy because I miss her. We will talk, I will cry, she will realize this really is hurting me, and she’ll be better for about a week… then the process repeats. I’m trying to be understanding because I realize she really has nothing going for her right now and I’m the only positive thing in her life, but its really hard. I know she’s depressed, and I know she needs me to be there for her, but I don’t know how and I’m getting to the point that I’m unsure if I want to. She’s pushing me so hard to leave while trying to pull me close at the same time and I’m fighting with myself over what I should do, but this isn’t the hard part. The hard part is I’m met someone…

Let’s call her Promise, because she made the best promise I’ve heard in a long time. She mad the promise she might talk to me later, which was perfect since it means she can’t break it. I like that. Actually there are a lot of things I like about her. She’s mature (and 25), intelligent, witty, ambitious, talented, and has some of the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen in my life. Today I did something spontaneous because she asked me to… I don’t do spontaneous! I never have, and yet something about her made me want to record a video of myself singing an indie pop song and send it to her. She loved it and asked me to record another one, and you know what? I want to. I absolutely hate the way that my voice sounds on camera but I want to do that for her. I don’t know why. Maybe its because I’m looking for something else because my relationship is so sour, or because those eyes give me butterflies, or maybe its because I relate to her. She’s a scientist, she loves music, she’s made mistakes and she knows she’s not prefect but she’s trying to better herself every day. She comes with baggage, just like everyone else and she’s open about it. And the best part? She knows about my girlfriend and she gets it. She gets that I miss her and I love her, and she understands that I have wants and needs that my Princess Charming can’t fulfill. She’s fine with it.

This leads us to the next problem… The last time we talked about how much the status of our relationship was upsetting me, my highly monogamous Princess Charming suggested that if I was still unsatisfied after she had tried to fix the problem, then she said we could try an open relationship. I gave her another chance, and it got a little better, but not much. Until last night at 3:04AM, I was going to flat out tell her this, and tell her I met someone, and tell her I want that open relationship before every speaking to Promise. That’s how I wanted it because I don’t want anything I do to be in the wrong. Why? Because I love her. But today, in the wee small hours of the morning, she called me out of the blue, told me she wrote me a letter, and apologized for still not changing the way she’s been acting WITHOUT BEING PROMPTED.

I feel like an asshole… she really is a Princess Charming, she’s just in a tight spot, and while until tonight I did nothing more than have casual conversation with Promise, I should have told her. I should have told her two weeks ago when I met this girl. I should have told her every day sense… but I kept telling myself, oh maybe it’ll just be platonic, and maybe it won’t matter, I’ll just tell her if anything changes. And it did… and I didn’t tell her. And now my stomach hurts so bad and I don’t know if its the butterflies from the conversation I just had or if its the guilt from the one I didn’t.

I know I have to tell her. I know it’s the only option. I know what I am doing is wrong… but a part of me just wants to wait for that letter to see what it says. To see just how sorry she is. To read that she loves me… to believe it can still work.

My Princess Charming will be here in 15 days, but we haven’t had a real conversation that isn’t about our relationship in months. Promise can be here in under two hours, no matter the day, and tonight she was an hour late to hang out with her friends because she wanted to talk to me. I never once asked her to stay. In fact, I told her she should probably go multiple times, but she stayed because she wanted to. My Princess Charming won’t even make an hour in her day for me…

What do I do? Someone tell me please because I don’t know and I don’t want to become someone that I would hate.

Sincerely,

Cinderella

And so it ends…

This post isn’t about me, it’s about Ariel. Not too long ago she found out her Prince Charming was anything but. He cheated on her. And by that I don’t mean he was drunk and kissed a girl, I mean he slept with some random girl over the summer, got her pregnant, found out she’d had a miscarriage, and only then decided to tell Ariel about his infidelity. It’s shocking. This was the frog Ariel was willing to stay in a relationship with while she would be gone for a year. Something we all know is quite a challenge for Ariel. But she was willing to do it for him, to stay with him. She thought this was the guy she would marry. I’ve never seen Ariel look so fragil. It was heart wrenching. When she told me I was shocked, appauled that he would do something like that and not feel remorse. He pretended everything was alright, that things were great when the reality was something very different. He left her vulnerable, something I never thought I’d see Ariel as. I know she’ll be ok. She’s doing much better now, but it will take time for her to move on. She needs us now, any words of comfort will  be more than appreciated.

~Jasmine