Okay so here is an update on computer, and by now you should all have a visual. I talked to him about his bad habits, and we came to an agreement that he will not do anything around me, and i will not he put in a position as an RA that i would have to write him up. So that is working well. Since you all last heard he has been amazing and sweet! He took me to a little Italian restaurant down town and we had an amazing night!
I was also on Duty and had to stay on campus all weekend, so he kept me company. He would not let me walk to meet the officers for rounds alone, but insisted on walking me. I was also not allowed to go to bed without saying goodnight. He waited until almost three am for me, just so I could give him a goodnight kiss. We ended up watching a show called the killing. It’s sorta our thing. We snuggle and watch it, this reminds me he loves to snuggle. So have spent evenings falling asleep watching t.v. only to wake up and remember Phoebe is in my room alone… (don’t worry i was a responsible pet mom and always came home to sleep with her) Though i have wished i brought her with me so i didn’t have to leave. To sum up he is sweet, kind, understanding, and a great snuggler.
He is a bit shy and an introvert but i was able to convince him to go out with a group of people for haunted lazier tag. He talked to some of the other people but mostly just stuck be me. So he will go and be around people sometimes but he also needs his alone time. I think that is understandable.
Now that there is some more background I can talk about my conundrum. In the past i have believed in no sex before marriage. This is something i have been thinking a lot about even before i started going out with computer. So i am weighing the options. I like the idea of only sleeping with the person you know you will marry, but how realistic is that? I may not find that prince charming for a long time, or this could be my prince charming. On the other hand I don’t want to be the slut or person that sleeps with everyone. So i guess the question is how do i know when i am ready?
This brings me back to tonight. So were watching T.V but to be honest mostly making out. One thing lead to another and i was again faced with the question sleep with him or not. As i knew going into this that my mind has yet to be made up i didn’t because i knew i could have regretted it. But i also thought i would have more time to figure out an answer. In the moment i wanted to say yes, but should i? Thankfully he was okay with my decision and did not pressure me at all. Would it be too soon to sleep with him though? I dont know, as you can see there is a delima. Ant thoughts?
~ Snow White
So, I think you will know when you really feel close. If you are at all worried that you will regret it, don’t do it. My first time was with a guy who just used me and that hurt so much. I think you should wait longer until you know that this relationship is going to work. If he really likes you, he will understand and wait for you. I also don’t think you will be branded a slut if you sleep with him. You are so not a slut
You aren’t just having sex with random guys and then moving on to the next guy. My suggestion though is to wait and see if this works.
-Ariel
I agree with Ariel. You shouldn’t do it until you’re comfortable with the relationship and believe it is strong enough for it. It’s a big step in a relationship and for you, hence you want to be sure about your decision. Other things below the belt may help you get a feeling of where the relationship is and where your boundaries are. You won’t be labeled a slut. Ariel makes a valid point, it’s one guy not one guy a night. Take things slow and you’ll be fine. Keep us updated though!
~Jasmine
Here’s my opinion, and I tell it to everyone who is having this problem: If you have to think about whether you’re ready or not, then you’re not. Thinking means you haven’t decided whether it is a good idea or not, and ultimately, that means its a bad idea. I’m not saying whether you will eventually want to sleep with him or not, but the fact it that this is your first time, and even with the right person a first time is still messy. No added mess should be brought in by making a mistake that you can’t take back. I know people tell you that intimacy is precious and you should protect it, but I don’t think you can really know just how precious until someone else is sharing it with you.
Also, I hate to say it, but sex really does change everything in a relationship.
Ultimately, I will say wait until you actively want to in your mind, not just because your hormones are screaming just do it already. If he’s as great as he seems, he won’t pressure you, no matter how long it takes. And if he leaves because you won’t give in, then he wasn’t worth it anyway.